Born on the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous, I'm the illegitimate love child of Han Solo and Daenerys Targaryen. Rescued by Gandalf shortly before my home planet was destroyed in the last days of the Clone Wars, I was raised in relative obscurity by my foster parents, Severus Snape and Pippi Longstocking. At the tender age of 113, I inherited the best little whorehouse in Texas and it's rumored I'm bringing Sexy Back. (Spoilers: I never left!) A self confessed chocoholic, I've been engaged to Willy Wonka despite gossip surrounding a lifelong affair Loki of Asgard. (Spoilers: He is burdened with glorious purpose)
And clearly, I practice delusion on a daily basis.
The truth is, I’m just an overgrown kid with a vivid imagination who loves to write and share my crazy with the world. My future plans include, hopefully, buying a lovely Scottish castle and convincing Queen Elizabeth I that I’d make a fab addition to the Royal Family.
I live in Southern California, a stone’s throw from Disneyland, with my family and the most ridiculously spoiled pets anyone could imagine. I wake everyday with the determination to make this life as random, quirky and beautiful as it can be.